The Heart of Happiness: 2020

The Heart of Happiness

WORKBOOK

13 Techniques Using Mindfulness and Humor to Manage Stress and Find Happiness

Christy Eidson

ISBN: 9781099136955

DEDICATION

Thank you to my daughter, Allison. I love you!

CONTENTS

	Acknowledgments	i
1	Introduction	1
2	Getting started on the path to happiness	4
3	How do I spend my time?	11
4	Negative self-talk and obstacles	23
5	What is the ANSWER to happiness?	29
6	SMART goal setting	40
7	Exercises	49
8	Find balance in my life	58
9	Re-evaluate my goals	65
10	Using the 13 techniques	74

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

This book would not have been possible if not for my great grandparents, George and Elsie Eidson, who raised me. They are long gone, but their tough love prepared me for the real world, whether I was ready or not. We did not have a lot, but I knew that they loved me. I am also grateful for the love of my daughter, Allison.

I am so thankful for the support and encouragement of my friends Jana Mandes, Carolyn Pachuilo, Amy Delvin, Sissy Debut, Sandra Dee Nicholson, Ellen and Mark Greenbaum, and Maria Tucker who inspired, helped me proofread, and bounce ideas off.

I want to thank Vanderbilt University for keeping me alive! If it wasn’t for the staff and surgeons, I would not be here to write this book.

And finally, I want to mention Randy Alexander, who is pictured in the book with his dog, Rufus. He always saw the best in people, and his life’s mission was to spread happiness and cheer. (Also pictured are my dogs Roscoe and Freddie.)

1 introduction

If you are reading this, more than likely you have read The Heart of Happiness. If you have, thank you! But that is just the beginning. This workbook is a companion to that book, and it helps you go on to the next level of your transformation.

There are many books on motivation, anxiety and depression, stress management, and personal transformation. Rarely, do any of them discuss happiness and how to achieve it. In this book, you will be able to define stress and identify stressors, discover helpful and effective stress management techniques that have been proven to work, and develop a plan to reach your goals. This book will also help you realize what happiness means to you. Similar books may cover one of these topics, but I wanted to create one book that encompasses all of them.

Stress is a normal part of everyday life, but not all stress is bad. Stress is the body’s natural defense against danger. Stress can be a motivator to get you off your keister and turn thoughts into actions.

Sometimes we put things off until the time is just right. Or sometimes we delay because we don’t want to do it unless we do it perfectly. Well, I’ve got news for you. There is no right time and there is no such thing as perfect! That is not to say that perfectionism cannot work in your favor, but it can only work if you put it into action. Any action is better than no action at all. Remember, the thousand-mile journey starts with one step. The hardest part is just showing up! Don’t put it off until tomorrow, because tomorrow never comes. You only have today.

We may try to take steps to help us overcome our procrastination, but to no avail. We may make deadlines for ourselves, but if they are not concrete, they will not work. Then, when we don’t stick to them, we beat ourselves up when our goal is not reached or deadline not completed. This sinks us further in our hole of procrastination, because we feel defeated.

We become so transfixed on the outcome that it prevents us from even starting. We are looking at the process all wrong. It is not the destination that we should focus on, but the journey. We need to be involved in the total course of events. We need to be in the moment. After all, the end result is not what makes you happy, even though we believe that it will. It is the process that leads to happiness.

This book creates the foundation for your new path. When completing this book, it is important that you take your time, really think about your answers, and above all else, be very honest with yourself about your answers.

Now more than ever, we need to find and implement methods to deal with stress in our lives.

Here are some ways:

Laughter - The Mayo Clinic writes that laughter can “stimulate circulation and aid muscle relaxation, both of which help reduce some of the physical symptoms of stress.”
Get a pet or watch cute animal videos. No, seriously! - One paper from Frontiers in Psychology reviewed sixty-nine studies and concluded that interacting with animals lowers fear and anxiety in people. Part of the reason for this lies in oxytocin, a hormone that, among its other jobs, reduces stress. Interaction with animals pumps more oxytocin to your brain.
Smile - Smiling helps lower stress, lowers heart rates, and actually makes you feel better.
Exercise - Even if you are tired, exercising gives you more energy. It lowers stress and increases endorphins.
Unplug from technology – it is proven that constant communication increases stress.
Meditation - reduces stress, improves concentration, increases acceptance, and improves cardiovascular and immune health.
Yoga - can lessen chronic pain, lower blood pressure, reduce insomnia, and increase flexibility.
Tai chi - strengthens muscles, increases flexibility and balance, and lowers blood pressure.
Forest bathing - It is scientifically proven that Shinrin-yoki, or forest bathing, boosts the immune system, increases NK cells, and reduces blood pressure.
Reiki - reduces stress, brings about inner peace and harmony, balances mind and emotions, relieves pain, and speeds recovery from surgery and illness.
Aromatherapy - Relieves stress, has an antidepressant capacity, increases memory, boosts energy levels, speeds up healing and recovery, alleviates headaches and pain, enhances the immune system, and aids in sleep.

“The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.” ~ Walt Disney

2 GETTING STARTED ON THE PATH TO HAPPINESS

I think that most of us can agree that happiness comes from feeling that all of our needs are being fulfilled. It can be described as a feeling of satisfaction and contentment. When people have a sense of well-being, it could be said that they have a sense of happiness. When most people are happy, they experience joy. These are positive emotions and experiences, but that does not mean that happy people don’t experience negative emotions like sadness, anxiety, or anger. A happy person has better tools and coping mechanisms to deal with those negative emotions when they arise. They may have different ways of processing those emotions that others have not. They may even find meaning in those emotions. Happy people are still going to experience negative emotions, because they are human. They still experience stress, but it is how they handle those stresses that determine their happiness. Most often, instead of seeing stress as resistance, they will look at stress as an opportunity.

The Basics about Me

Overall, how happy do I feel right now?

On a scale of 1 – 10:

What does happiness mean to me?

________________________________________________________________________

What people, places, things, or activities make me happy?

________________________________________________________________________

What am I interested in and passionate about?

________________________________________________________________________

What are the things that I want to do “someday” or “when I have enough time”?

________________________________________________________________________

If money were not an issue, what would I want to do with my life?

________________________________________________________________________

What are my strengths?

________________________________________________________________________

What are my weaknesses?

________________________________________________________________________

When I reach my small goals, what will I do to reward myself?

________________________________________________________________________

What groups can I join, locally or online, that can help me network and motivate me toward my goals?

________________________________________________________________________

Who are some people that are doing what I want to do? How did they get to where they are?

________________________________________________________________________

What are my past successes?

________________________________________________________________________

What action can I do today to move me closer to my goals?

________________________________________________________________________

Does my environment support my goal? (Ex: if I want to quit smoking, is my environment smoke-free?) Can I change my environment? (Ex: make environment non-smoking)

________________________________________________________________________

When I visualize my finished goal, what does it look like? How do I feel? What does it sound, look, feel, and even taste?

________________________________________________________________________

What are my goals? Which ones are the most important? Prioritize them in order.

________________________________________________________________________

Do I feel like I have more energy first thing in the morning or in the evening? What is my “peak” time? What tasks can I work on during these times?

________________________________________________________________________

First, I must decide what it is that I want to do. Second, I must determine why. I have to ask myself: “Do I want to be ____ because ____ or ____?”

For example: “Do I want to be a writer because of passion or money?”

According to Dr. Joe Dispenza, there are five types of motivation:

· Purpose

· Personal connection

· Ethics

· Ego-centered

· Money

Money is your lower level motivation, whereas, purpose is the higher level. The reason why is very telling on how committed you are to reaching your goal. If it’s just for money, how invested are you really? If it is because you are so passionate about it that you can’t imagine doing anything else, you are going to be much more invested in accomplishing your goal. “I want to be an author with a self-published book on stress management, because I have an important message to put out into the world that can help a lot of people with the same issues that I have.” That is a much stronger WHY than “I want to be an author to make a lot of money.”

Why do I want to do this goal?:

________________________________________________________________________

3 HOW DO I SPEND MY TIME?

Take some time to really look at your day-to-day schedule and see where your time is spent. Keep a log for a week and see if you can find where time could be better spent or what activities you may have to cut down on.

Day 1	Date:
Activities	Time Spent Daily
Sleeping
Getting ready for the day (shower, breakfast, getting dressed, etc.)
Working
Commute
Leisure (TV, games, reading, etc,)
Eating
Exercise
Social
Chores (laundry, cleaning, etc.)
Shopping
School, learning
Other

Day 2	Date:
Activities	Time Spent Daily
Sleeping
Getting ready for the day (shower, breakfast, getting dressed, etc.)
Working
Commute
Leisure (TV, games, reading, etc,)
Eating
Exercise
Social
Chores (laundry, cleaning, etc.)
Shopping
School, learning
Other

Day 3	Date:
Activities	Time Spent Daily
Sleeping
Getting ready for the day (shower, breakfast, getting dressed, etc.)
Working
Commute
Leisure (TV, games, reading, etc,)
Eating
Exercise
Social
Chores (laundry, cleaning, etc.)
Shopping
School, learning
Other

Day 4	Date:
Activities	Time Spent Daily
Sleeping
Getting ready for the day (shower, breakfast, getting dressed, etc.)
Working
Commute
Leisure (TV, games, reading, etc,)
Eating
Exercise
Social
Chores (laundry, cleaning, etc.)
Shopping
School, learning
Other

Day 5	Date:
Activities	Time Spent Daily
Sleeping
Getting ready for the day (shower, breakfast, getting dressed, etc.)
Working
Commute
Leisure (TV, games, reading, etc,)
Eating
Exercise
Social
Chores (laundry, cleaning, etc.)
Shopping
School, learning
Other

Day 6	Date:
Activities	Time Spent Daily
Sleeping
Getting ready for the day (shower, breakfast, getting dressed, etc.)
Working
Commute
Leisure (TV, games, reading, etc,)
Eating
Exercise
Social
Chores (laundry, cleaning, etc.)
Shopping
School, learning
Other

Day 7	Date:
Activities	Time Spent Daily
Sleeping
Getting ready for the day (shower, breakfast, getting dressed, etc.)
Working
Commute
Leisure (TV, games, reading, etc,)
Eating
Exercise
Social
Chores (laundry, cleaning, etc.)
Shopping
School, learning
Other

Procrastination

Procrastination plagues most of us at one time or another. We know what we need to do. Why can’t we just do it? We make lists, plan schedules, read self-help books, and watch motivation videos, but nothing seems to work. We spend the time that we put aside to complete our tasks by watching TV or surfing the internet. We are stuck to our sofas like gum on the bottom of a shoe. We cannot manage the strength to just get out of bed! We come up with tons of distractions to avoid doing what we need and want to do. We make convenient excuses for delaying our action. We create our own speed bumps and roadblocks. Most of the time, it is all based on fear.

Why Do We Fail?

Why don’t we achieve our goals?

· Procrastination

· Distractions

· Overwhelmed

· Self-Defeating/Negative/Self-Sabotaging

· Hardest Part: Getting Up, Getting Out, Getting Started

What makes us fail? We make lists, schedules, etc., but they don’t work. Hours fly by wasted doing anything other than working on our goals.

· On sofa

· In bed

· Internet surfing

· Reading

These distractions are excuses to delay.

What do we need to do to combat this?

· Small, obtainable goals – avoid overwhelm – daily goals

· Accountability

· Flip your thinking (Negative to Positive)

· Find out what you want to do (and why)

We often may get overwhelmed by how enormous the feat may seem. It is easier for us to do nothing than to attempt to climb this mountain. But if we make small, obtainable goals for ourselves, we will avoid being overwhelmed. Instead of looking at the top of the mountain and thinking you’ll never make it, focus on taking the first step. As in the old saying, a thousand mile journey begins with one step. Before you know it, you will be fifteen steps into your journey, and then fifty, and so on. The trick is to not beat yourself up if you go a day with only making one step.

When you begin working out at the gym, it may seem like you have bitten off more than you can chew. Ten minutes on the treadmill may seem like a million years. But soon, you will build up to twenty, and before you know it, you are doing forty-five minutes. Once you get in the habit of hitting the gym, you miss it if you have to skip a session. It becomes part of your routine and part of you, but you had to work up to it to get to that point.

Eric Clapton did not wake up one day, pick up a guitar, and start playing. He practiced…a lot! In interviews, I have heard him speak of practicing for hours and hours every day. He practiced so much that his fingers would actually bleed. But he knew what he wanted. He knew that if he wanted to be the best in his field, it required strong determination and a great amount of work. But because of his dedication, he is the only three-time inductee into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

You are going to fail sometimes. But that’s okay. Those failures can also be looked at as steps to success. Every “no” that hear gets you that much close to a “yes”. A baseball player doesn’t just pick up a bat and hit a home run. It takes practice. But even the best players face defeat. Reggie Jackson holds the record for most strikeouts with a career 2,597 strikeouts. That is a lot of failures. But he also has a record of 563 home runs. He struck out a lot, but it took those failures to create 563 successes.

Failure is not necessarily a bad thing. Our failures can be teaching tools. Thomas Edison once said something to the effect that “I didn’t fail one thousand times. I’ve just found one thousand ways that didn’t work.” I was unable to find the actual quote, but you get the picture. It is not that we fall; it is that we get back up and do not quit. For example, if one were to drop a rubber ball, it doesn’t just stay down; it bounces back. And the harder you drop it, the stronger it bounces back.

One reason that we fail to take action is due to our lack of focus. You may have given yourself a deadline, but it is not concrete. A passive deadline creates no sense of urgency. Then, if we do not stick to our deadlines, we beat ourselves up when our goal is not reached or deadline not completed. That only makes us feel terrible about ourselves and further makes us avoid taking future actions. We are our own worst enemies.

At times, we may beat ourselves up because we feel “stupid”. It is totally fine to feel that way. It is arrogant to think that you know it all. You should constantly be learning. Be aware that you don’t know it all. Be open to knowledge. It can also be said that you know more than you think you do. Give yourself some credit.

Timing is everything….WRONG! Again, there is no perfect time. We all think “I’ll be happy when…” We have all been guilty of that from time to time. “I’ll be happy when I get this position.” “I’ll be happy when I get a new house or a new car.” You are putting your happiness on a time table. You are delaying your happiness for a time period that will never exist. Be happy now. You only have now. The past is gone, and the future never comes. You must be in the present. We are not guaranteed tomorrow. Anything could happen. We may face illness, loss, even death, so today should be lived to its fullest. And if you are living in the moment, it is senseless to deny yourself a second of happiness.

The hardest part about reaching your goal is starting. When working on Annie Hall, Woody Allen was interviewed and quoted as saying, “Eighty percent of success is showing up.”

Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today! Procrastination is a major Achilles heel for most people. If your task falls under the important or urgent category, do it now. Once it is finished, you will feel so good about yourself and feel motivated to finish another task. Procrastination is only a way of putting off your success.

4 Negative self-talk and obstacles

Two people are taking a cooking class, but they are both struggling. They both were having a difficult time making a soufflé. Both soufflés ended up burned and deflated. The first student beats himself up about it by saying, “I’m a failure. I can’t do anything right. There is nothing that I’m good at.” The second student thinks, “I’ve never been much of a cook, but this class is fun. Considering that I have never spent much time in a kitchen, I didn’t do too terrible of a job, and I’ve learned a lot from my mistakes with this recipe.” One exhibits a negative thought process, and the other displays a more positive one. Both of them had the same experiences and results, but their perspectives on them were different.

In the world that we live in, it is sometimes difficult to be positive. The news can be flooded with negativity. Even reading your social media feed can be a downer. But we have to remember that pessimism is not good for your health. Negative thinkers have higher rates of depression. Pessimists have higher levels of heart disease and do not live as long as more optimistic people. Optimists also experience greater productivity at work than their counterparts.

There are only two ways to look at things: Positively or Negatively. But we have to realize that the phrase “stay positive” is much more than just wishful thinking. It is a matter of rewiring our brains. We have been conditioned to accept and expect negativity, and it does not have to be that way. When we experience failures, instead of taking it personally, we need to look at them as learning experiences. Nothing is a mistake if we can learn something from it.

Negative Self-Talk

What negative beliefs am I holding on to that could be keeping me from my goals?

________________________________________________________________________

How are my negative beliefs affecting me?

________________________________________________________________________

What positive beliefs can I use to replace the negative ones? How will they more positively affect my life?

List 3 negative beliefs	Write down something that challenges each belief	Write a new positive belief to replace the negative one
Ex: “I’m afraid I’ll fail.”	“When I’ve worked hard, I’ve done okay.”	“If I focus and work hard, I will likely do a good job.”

Making Changes

What do I want to change right now?

________________________________________________________________________

What are the reasons that I want to make these changes?

________________________________________________________________________

The steps that I plan to take in changing are:

________________________________________________________________________

If I make this change, how will this make me feel?

________________________________________________________________________

What will it help me accomplish?

________________________________________________________________________

How will it affect my family and close relationships? How will it make them feel?

________________________________________________________________________

What can other people do to help me? (Ex: get a workout partner)

________________________________________________________________________

How will I know that my plan is working? (measure)

________________________________________________________________________

Welcoming and Overcoming Obstacles

What obstacles could interfere with my plan?

________________________________________________________________________

What can I do to overcome these obstacles?

________________________________________________________________________

5 WHAT IS THE ANSWER TO HAPPINESS?

In sales, the ANSWER might look something like this:

1) Approach the customer

2) Determine the customer’s Needs

3) Show the merchandise

4) Welcome and overcome objections

5) Encourage the closing of the sale

6) Suggest Related items

Ask yourself these questions:

Who is your customer?

________________________________________________________________________

What do these customers need?

________________________________________________________________________

What can you do to fill this niche?

________________________________________________________________________

What could their objections be?

________________________________________________________________________

How can you persuade them to use your product or service?

________________________________________________________________________

What else could you offer them to supplement what you are already offering them?

________________________________________________________________________

But you can take a similar approach to setting and achieving your goals. The answer to happiness is ACTIONS.

Happiness has a direct correlation to motivation which leads to productivity. The Harvard Business Review conducted a study that found that people are more productive when they are positive. Thus, one can assume that having a positive outlook and being happy makes people more motivated.

ACTION Steps

Now, you go from talking to the talk to walking the walk. All the planning in the world does not matter until you put it into action.

Whether you want to achieve your goals or to make a sale, take these ACTIONS steps:

1) Approach your goal with Action

2) Concentrate on the goal/avoid distractions

3) Flip the Negative Thinking

4) Use your Imagination

5) Set small, Obtainable goals

6) Determine your Needs (for you and for your goals)

7) Set Intentions

Approach Your Goal With Action

All the planning in the world won’t mean a thing if you don’t put your plan into action.

Action:

· If you want to be a writer, sit in front of a keyboard.

· If you want to be a painter, sit in front of an easel.

· If you want to be an entrepreneur, start a business.

A good example is if one wants to be a writer, but they spend more time researching topics or other writers instead of sitting down and typing or putting pen to paper. If you want to be a good guitar player, of course, it is good to take note of the great guitar players. But to be a good guitar player yourself, you must actually play!

There is an order to your goal.

1. First, you learn the parts of the guitar.

2. Next, you learn how to properly tune your guitar.

3. Then, you would learn your scales and chords.

4. Before long, you will be learning to play actual songs.

5. The more that you practice, the better you will be.

What action can I take today to move forward in reaching my goal?

Start with some baby steps to snowball from there.

Date: _____________________________________

Goal:

________________________________________________________________________

How will I achieve this goal:

________________________________________________________________________

Goal:

________________________________________________________________________

How will I achieve this goal:

________________________________________________________________________

Goal:

________________________________________________________________________

How will I achieve this goal:

________________________________________________________________________

Goal:

________________________________________________________________________

How will I achieve this goal:

________________________________________________________________________

Concentrate on your Goals

Concentrate on your goals. You must keep focus by staying in the moment. Don’t let yourself get distracted.

List your distractions (TV, Youtube, video games, Facebook, etc.):

Flip the Negative Thinking

If negativity has been getting in your way, you must flip your thinking. Instead of focusing on what you do not want in your life, turn your thoughts to what you do want. Another way to flip your thinking is to think backwards. If you know what your destination is, take the steps backwards to see how you get there.

For instance, if your goal is to be on Saturday Night Live, you will want to look at other people that have gotten to that point and see what steps they took to get there. They all have agents. Maybe before SNL, they were in improvisational comedy, which most were. From there, you would research which improv schools they came from. Then, you will realize that before they began performing improv, they had taken classes at that improv school. A diagram of this path may look something like this:

Improv School > Become a Cast Member of School > Get an Agent > SNL

What path do I need to take to get to where I want to go?

Step 1: _________________________________________________________________

Step 2: _________________________________________________________________

Step 3: _________________________________________________________________

Step 4: _________________________________________________________________

Step 5: _________________________________________________________________

Use Your Imagination

Your imagination is a great tool. Visualize yourself doing what you want. Envision that you have already completed your goal and are successful. Use your internal control. Harness your brain’s power with meditation.

What is success to me? What does it look like?

Set small, Obtainable goals

Set small, obtainable goals. Instead of focusing on how far away our goal may seem, taking baby steps to get there.

1) _________________________________________________________________

2) _________________________________________________________________

3) _________________________________________________________________

4) _________________________________________________________________

5) _________________________________________________________________

6) _________________________________________________________________

7) _________________________________________________________________

8) _________________________________________________________________

9) _________________________________________________________________

10) _________________________________________________________________

Determine Your Needs

We all have needs. They may be basic physiological needs like food, water, and shelter. They may be much more complex like realizing your purpose in life. The chart below shows Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, which is a five-tier model of human needs. It is one of the best-known theories of human motivation. The higher needs come into focus once the lower level needs have been met. You will not be worried about recognition if you are starving.

Take a moment to think about your needs. Which ones are being met and which ones are lacking?

The story of the human race is the story of men and women selling themselves short. ~ Abraham Maslow

What are my most urgent needs?

________________________________________________________________________

What do I need in order to reach my goal? (more money, more time, a degree, etc.)

________________________________________________________________________

6 SMART GOAL SETTING

Set a few specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timely goals.

Specific: What do I want to do? How am I going to do it? Why?

Measurable: How will I know that I have achieved my goal? What is the date I want it done by? If I want to make more money, how much exactly do I want?

Attainable: Can this be done? Do I have the time, skills, energy, and money to do this?

Realistic: Can I really do this? Are these goals in line with my vision of success?

Timely: When do I want my goal completed by?

Think about my goal. Define it by the SMART goal setting method. How does it meet each category?

Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Realistic
Timely

Write a mission statement

When you start a business, one of the first things that you do is to create a mission statement. It identifies what your organization does and gives the organization structure. It is the Who, What, When, Where, Why, and How of your organization. A personal mission statement is similar in that it identifies your core values and beliefs. It articulates what you are all about. It paints a picture of what success looks like to you.

To write your own personal mission statement, you must answer these questions:

· WHO? Who is your best you? Who are you creating this goal for? Who is your customer or audience?

________________________________________________________________________

· WHAT? What is important to you? What do you want to do? What do you want to leave as your legacy? What are your skills, values, passions, or dreams?

________________________________________________________________________

· WHEN? Do you have a timeframe you are working within? Where do you see yourself in one, five, or ten years?

________________________________________________________________________

· WHERE? Where will this take place? Where do you want to go?

________________________________________________________________________

· WHY? What is the purpose of your plan?

________________________________________________________________________

It does not have to be long. Just a line or two should sum up what you are in a clear and concise manner. An example would be: “To inspire change and to positively impact the lives of everyone that I meet.” Oprah Winfrey’s personal mission statement looks like this: "To be a teacher. And to be known for inspiring my students to be more than they thought they could be."

My mission statement:

________________________________________________________________________

Set intentions

What is my intention? Here are some examples:

· Find balance

· Open the mind and heart

· Peace

· Embrace change

· Love and to love unconditionally

· Connect with others

· To manifest happiness

· To lead by example

· Make someone smile each day

What are my intentions?

________________________________________________________________________

Increase your Energy

Is the reason for your lack of motivation due to a lack of energy? What am I doing to increase my energy level?

· Meditation

· Exercise

· Eating healthy

· Taking a multi-vitamin

· Getting enough sleep

What changes can I make in my daily routine to increase my energy level?

________________________________________________________________________

Values

What are my values?

In order to find your happiness, you have to assess what your values are.

What is really important to you?

Here is an example of common values. Select your top five values.

· Achievement

· Adventure

· Art

· Autonomy

· Awareness

· Balance

· Belonging

· Cleanliness

· Community

· Compassion

· Creativity

· Determination

· Empathy

· Fairness

· Friendships

· Fun

· Gratitude

· Growth

· Happiness

· Honesty

· Humor

· Independence

· Joy

· Kindness

· Knowledge

· Love

· Loyalty

· Meaningfulness

· Openness

· Optimism

· Passion

· Patience

· Peace

· Persistence

· Recognition

· Respect

· Responsibility

· Security

· Solitude

· Spirituality

· Stability

· Success

· Trustworthiness

· Understanding

· Wealth

· Wisdom

· Others:

Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations are the pep talks that we give ourselves. If you remember the character Stuart Smalley from Saturday Night Live, Al Franken’s character used daily affirmations to boost his self-esteem. His most popular affirmation was: “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!”

Think about what you would like to change. Make sure that the affirmation that you choose is realistic. Saying “I’m going to double my income next week” may not be achievable. Make sure that they are positive and in the present tense. No “I’m going to”, but rather “I am”. Make sure there is emotion invested in your affirmation to give it strength. You need to believe it. “I AM capable.”

Here are some examples of positive affirmations:

· I can do this.

· I am creative.

· I am successful.

· My peers respect me and value my opinion.

· I am grateful for my home and job.

· I am happy and excited.

· I exude positivity and enthusiasm.

· I am a kind person and deserve love.

· I am a beautiful person.

· I love myself unconditionally.

· I am fearless, strong, and passionate.

· I am calm and peaceful.

· I am aware of my full potential.

· There is no obstacle that I cannot overcome.

· Life is beautiful and amazing.

· I only attract positivity into my life.

· I am a better me today than I was yesterday.

· I am content. I am good enough.

· There is no limitation on what I can achieve.

· I am creating the path to my dreams.

Write down 3 positive affirmations and say them into the mirror each day for a week.

Affirmation #1

Affirmation #2

Affirmation #3

Write them down and put these affirmations in a place where you will see them often. Put the affirmations on post-it notes on your bathroom mirror or refrigerator. Use a cork board or dry erase board to display your affirmations. Repetition is the key.

Visualization Board

If you say it, you become it. Also, if you see it, you can be it. With visualization, you want to anticipate a positive outcome. You are seeing your goal as if it is already completed.

Take five to ten minutes each day to focus on your visualizations. Create a vision board. A vision board is a tool that you can use to put your goals into focus. They allow you to clarify what you want by giving it a tangible image that you can concentrate on. You can use a cork board or just copy images to a piece of paper or poster board to make your collage. I make my vision boards in a Word document on my computer with clips of various pictures and words.

What do I want to put on my vision board? Make a list of images, words, or anything that you want to put into your board. It could be your dream house or car, people you admire, images that involve the career that you want, or anything. Start by picking 5 things:

Item #1

Item #2

Item #3

Item #4

Item #5

7 EXERCISES

Meditation Exercise #1:

Take 10 minutes each day to sit in mindful meditation. We spend so much time either dwelling on the past or worrying about the future that we do not spend enough time in the moment. For 10 minutes each day, quietly sit, focus on your breathing, and just be present. Notice how your body feels. Notice all of the sounds, sights, and smells around you. Don’t think about what you need to do today. Your grocery list can wait until later. Just be.

Meditation Exercise #2: Smile Meditation

Much like the first exercise, sit quietly for 10 minutes, focusing on your breathing, while continuously smiling. It does not have to be a huge grin, but a nice, relaxed smile. You will be amazed at how the act of smiling changes how you feel. If you have a scowl on your face, you are going to feel more grumpy and irritable. With a smile, you feel more at ease, peaceful, and dare I say, happy!

Gratitude Exercise #1:

Each day, write down 3 things that you are grateful for. These can things that happened or things you have. Even if you are having a bad day, you can think of at least 3 things for which you are grateful. Include why you are grateful for these things. Ex: I am grateful for: my bed because it is so soft, my dogs for their companionship and unconditional love, and being able to sleep in today to catch up on my lack of sleep and now I have more energy.

Repeat this each day for a week. Use the blank boxes below. Once you get into the habit, you will see the benefits of practicing gratitude. Start your own gratitude journal that you write in every day. You can get a notebook for 50 cents.

Day 1: Date

Gratitude 1

Gratitude 2

Gratitude 3

Day 2: Date

Gratitude 1

Gratitude 2

Gratitude 3

Day 3: Date

Gratitude 1

Gratitude 2

Gratitude 3

Day 4: Date

Gratitude 1

Gratitude 2

Gratitude 3

Day 5: Date

Gratitude 1

Gratitude 2

Gratitude 3

Day 6: Date

Gratitude 1

Gratitude 2

Gratitude 3

Day 7: Date

Gratitude 1

Gratitude 2

Gratitude 3

Gratitude Exercise #2:

Who are you grateful for? Think of 3 people that have had a positive influence on you. This could be a parent, child, teacher, boss, friend, or anyone who has had an impact on your life. This could be big or even as small as someone opened the door for you.

Who are you grateful for and why?

Person 1

Person 2

Person 3

Now pick one of these people and write to them to tell them how grateful you are to them. This could be an email, text, or hand-written letter. Take some time and be thoughtful in your words. Let them know how they have impacted you. How did they help you? Did they make you the person that you are today? If you’d rather meet them face-to-face to tell them, even better! Nothing beats the personal touch.

How did it make you feel? What was their reaction?

Random Acts of Kindness Exercise:

Do a good deed for the day. Go out of your way to make someone else’s day a little bit better. Open the door for someone. Give someone a smile, hug, or compliment. Do at least one each day for a week.

Here is a list of some examples:

1) Compliment someone, even a stranger.

2) Volunteer at a homeless shelter.

3) Volunteer at an animal shelter.

4) Donate extra dog or cat food to an animal shelter.

5) Do a marathon for a good cause.

6) Pick up litter.

7) Let someone go in front of you in line.

8) Donate blood.

9) Pay for someone’s meal at a restaurant.

10) Donate your old clothes to charity.

11) Hold the elevator for someone.

12) Do yard work for your neighbor.

13) Pay for someone else’s coffee.

14) Spread some positivity online.

15) Snap a photo for a couple trying to take a selfie.

16) Perform at a retirement home.

17) Leave a generous tip for a server.

18) Mentor a child.

19) Send coloring books to a children’s hospital.

20) Tutor a student.

21) Recycle.

22) Post inspirational post-it notes around the office.

23) Leave quarters at the laundromat or carwash.

24) Hold the door open for someone.

25) Make someone laugh.

26) Really listen to someone.

27) Let one car merge in front of you in traffic.

28) Have a conversation with a stranger.

29) Read to a child.

30) Visit someone who may be lonely.

31) Did you get good service today? Let the manager know.

32) Smile and say hello to a stranger.

33) Send an email to someone showing them your gratitude.

34) Give recognition to a co-worker. Let them know that they are doing a good job.

35) Return shopping carts at the grocery store to make less work for the employees.

36) While you’re out, compliment a parent on how well-behaved their child is.

37) Pay the toll for the person behind you.

38) Learn the names of people you see daily (bank teller, security guard, etc.).

39) Keep an extra umbrella at work, so you can lend it out when it rains.

40) Put your phone away while in the company of others.

Day 1: Date